Ups and Downs


By Sashagale Moore |

Which is more challenging, walking away from a dysfunctional relationship or staying? In my opinion, I believe that both options are equally difficult. Many women find it harder to leave a failed relationship because, as women, we tend to try to save the bond by any means necessary. Instead, we work on strengthening our connection rather than retreating because that is just in our nature. Even if it means subjecting ourselves to lowering our standards, we do this to accommodate our partners.

This idea that love is blind is why so many may find it hard to give up on love. Furthermore, we cannot see when it is time to walk away. Love isn’t an easy road to choose, so it won’t be an easy route to take. To do that, you must choose yourself first, and cannot allow your feelings to keep you from seeing the truth. We tend to know when to leave, but we ignore it. Ladies don’t ignore it; it’s called women’s intuition. That’s how you see the difference between knowing when to leave and when to stay and keep fighting. We often confuse those signs because they are clouded by our emotions.

As Maya Angelou wrote, “I’m a woman / Phenomenally / Phenomenal Woman / That’s me.” We are strong women, and we shouldn’t have to lower our standards or settle for less than we deserve. I’ve stayed in my fair share of situationships. A situationship is defined as “any problematic relationship characterized by one or more unresolved, interpersonal conflicts, usually confused with dating.” Love’s curse blinded me, and it was hard to see that the relationship had failed. Even after my friends and family saw it spiraling downwards, I still held onto hope that I could fix it. I allowed myself to be manipulated countless times by someone who professed love.

But what do young people know about love? We want the idea of love, but we don’t truly understand what it means to love someone the way that they deserve. The younger generation hasn’t taken the time to love themselves and accept being alone. Instead, we tend to rush into a relationship to fill a void of loneliness.

So, to answer the aforementioned question, I believe that staying in an unhappy relationship is more brutal because women tend to love harder. However, once you love yourself and are content within your skin, you should not have to wait for someone to love you. Stop trying to rebuild a relationship when your significant other has already checked out. Always know your worth and remember the proverb “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” You can interpret it in many different ways, but I believe it means you can love some with all your heart, but you cannot make them reciprocate it.

Sashagale Moore is an English Major at Medgar Evers College and is an expressionist.

1 thought on “Ups and Downs”

  1. This spoke to my soul. I can truly relate to this. Many don’t love themselves. This is why it’s hard for them to love others the right way. And by doing this they end up hurting people. Thanks you sash!

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